WEDDING DAY DETAILS: PART II

"These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.
These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.
These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy.
These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.
These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.
These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.
And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch."

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On September 15, 2018 almost two years after we got engaged, months on end of planning, paperwork, and logistics, we made it to the big day. We said ‘I do’ surrounded by our closest friends and family, ate to our hearts content, drank like fishes, and I danced with a G+T in hand til the DJ packed up. It was the perfect day and we couldn’t have imagined it any other way.

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On a beautiful sunny day, we woke up in our bed and breakfast nestled within the quaint town of Siena  and laughed about how this would be our last full day as fiancé’s.  After getting our fill on freshly picked tomatoes from the owner’s garden accompanied by various breads and meats, we relished in this quiet morning. We knew tomorrow would feel different and that this morning calm would quickly shift into an excited, nervous energy, and all the emotions that a wedding day brings. But this, this was pure bliss.

As we sipped the last of our freshly made americanos we knew it was the perfect fuel to our long day ahead. We packed up our rental car and began our trek into Tuscany. Winding roads, expansive views, it was everything I had ever imagined it to be and my heart sang because it all felt like a dream.

First stop was the town hall to finally meet our wedding planner in person, and to get the last of our civil ceremony papers signed off. You see, our dream venue was not so much of a dream because they only allowed civil ceremonies not symbolic, which meant we jumped through ALL the hoops to ensure we went through the paperwork process accordingly. Consulate visits with witnesses, paying for translators, notarized paperwork, then setting up consulate visits in Rome, etc. etc. it was a lot and stressful. But we were deadest and adamant about this venue so we just committed! So, after months of getting all our ducks in a row, we finally got the go-ahead, and we headed to see our wedding ceremony venue for the first time in person.

THE VENUE

This venue space is the first thing we booked and was the center of our wedding universe – San Galgano Abbey. Unassuming from the exterior, this Gothic style architectural masterpiece is the oldest Abbey in all of Tuscany. Built in the 13th-Century it’s fortress like walls give way to the sky above. No windows, no roof, just the bones of the building.

I was drawn to the juxtaposition of larger than life architecture that also felt so desolate. The idea of something so grand now stripped of its finite details, the shell of what it once was, yet still breathtakingly beautiful. It had the understated opulence that we were aiming for, with its grandeur unknown until you stepped foot inside and looked up. It definitely goes without saying, ‘don’t judge a book by it’s cover’. As we walked towards the Abby my heart skipped a beat and I clenched my fiancés hand because, this.was.it. Sight unseen, two years of dreaming of this place and we were here.

I cried. I looked down the apse that I would be walking down the next day, then up towards the blue sky above us and was speechless. I don’t get a lot of moments like this, because more often than not what I build up in my head usually doesn’t align with reality (Hi, I’m Jamie, and I’m a Pisces) BUT in this instance it exceeded everything I had anticipated and imagined. It was then I looked at my fiancé and whispered, ‘I told you I had good taste’.

THE VILLA

Less than 10 minutes down the road from San Galgano was our villa for the weekend, Villa Podernovo.

Nestled within the countryside of Tuscany in the town of Monticiano, this updated villa encompassed modern amenities with old world charm. If Leanne Ford was a villa, she might very well be this one. Because our wedding party was so small, this villa was able to accommodate everyone. Every couple or group was able to get their own private bedroom and for the lucky few, they were able to get their own suite equipped with kitchenette, private bathroom and living space. As an added incentive to fly out and join us for our wedding weekend festivities the villa stay was on us! This villa was the main vein of our whole wedding weekend. Aside from lodging it was where we hosted our welcome dinner and wedding reception, and was the perfect, picturesque location for all the fun stuff in-between.

Upon arrival guests were shown to their rooms where they were met with a small little welcome bag. We provided large tote bags adorned with our custom wedding logo patches, disposable house slippers (for our Asian parents), His and Her favorite treats, and a ‘first aid’ pouch filled with Advil, Emergen-C and Tums. To top it off we added a welcome note as well as a map of the villa indicating who was staying in which room and information on how to upload the Cluster App.

Everyone loved the bags and used them during our beach day in Cinque Terra

Her favorites were Hi-Chews, while his were Sesame Honey Almonds from TJ’s

I highly recommend this app for any large gatherings or parties. It alleviates having to do the whole, ‘Send me that pic’ song and dance. You can simply upload how ever many photos to the app at any time, and everyone can save and share photos as they wish. It’s like a real time digital album. Having used this app for over five events now, it’s a dream considering not everyone owns airdrop, unfortunately haha!

WELCOME DINNER

Who doesn’t love a good pizza party? With only 20 people in attendance, there wasn’t much to rehearse or go over for the next day, other than maybe just showing up on time. So, we called it a ‘Welcome Dinner’ and kept it pretty straight forward and informal. Our villa had a built-in wood-fired pizza oven, so we took full advantage and the catering company did not disappoint. What I thought was going to be more of a Cici’s pizza buffet line set-up, actually turned out to be more of a fancy pizza dinner party complete with crudités in mason jars, bottles of wine that the wait staff replenished when emptied, and wood slices they would ever so gracefully place the freshly fired pizzas onto. Each pizza they brought out was different, the variety was unexpected, and just when we thought we had our fill, they brought out dessert pizzas. It was the perfect kick off to a wonderful weekend ahead.

Rehearsal Dinner Photos by F1 Productions

WEDDING MORNING

I’d love to tell you I woke up beaming on my wedding morning, but I woke up looking for water and wasn’t sure which room I passed out in. I may have gotten TOO excited to see my friends and family all in one place the night before, but you know, when in Rome er, Tuscany – close enough. But a few ‘First Aid Kit’ Advil’s and a delicious breakfast later, I was then filled with more wedding day excitement than welcome dinner drinking regret.

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Above the main house of the villa was this gorgeous open space with ample windows that let in a cool breeze while Edison lights glowed from above. This is where we’d be blasting music all afternoon while sipping on spritzes, sharing makeup and telling each other how pretty one another was. I’m highly convinced getting ready with your girlfriends is half the fun of going out, this was no different.

When it comes to hair and makeup, I opted to do all of the above myself. I think when you know what works for you, you just have to stick with it, otherwise if you try to change things up too drastically, especially on a wedding day, you either end up disappointed or you sit there feeling like you could’ve done it better yourself, which for me, happens 99.9% of the time. While hair and makeup did an excellent job on our mom’s and a few friends, it was just more comfortable for me to take on doing everything myself, and I couldn’t have been happier.

Coordinating attire while getting ready isn’t a must, but there is something fun about matching outfits and taking photos together in essentially, PJ’s. I strayed away from the usual floral robes because the budget friendly ones are not the comfiest, they cling, get wrinkled easy, and I find they sometimes run too short. Instead, I went with an option that was very me. Comfortable navy-blue collared button down shirt dresses from Target. They didn’t break the bank and It’s something that I would in all actuality reuse, I still do! I then spent a little more on our mom’s and found their robes at Nordstroms.

Robes are made by In Bloom by Jonquil

Meanwhile, the guys were soaking up the Tuscan sun, hanging out by the pool just killing time before they had to jump into the shower and steam their suits. But in all fairness they did attend to whatever last minute tasks we needed to get done before the ceremony, and even ran into the nearby town to pick us up some snacks and food while we got ready. I was just glad our villa was getting it’s full use while we were there, because not once was I able to use the pool all weekend, maybe next time!

BRIDESMAIDS + GROOMSMEN

We did have bridesmaids and groomsmen. My husband asked his guys via phone call, I asked mine via custom Greetabls filled with champagne gummy bears from Sugarfina.

He simply asked his guys to wear gray suits, I told my girls to wear a long dress that were a deep navy blue and sent them a Pantone color. We kept it simple, didn’t feel the need to go the extra mile and make them buy anything specific, we just wanted people to either use something they already owned, or buy something within their means.  Also, because it was a small wedding, we didn’t have them walk down the aisle, but we did have them take photos with us as if they did.

Bridesmaids gifts were not on the top of my list, BUT I really wanted to do something nice for the girls, so I gifted them these very sleek bangle charm bracelets sans the charms from Tiffany’s. The idea was, I could gift them a charm here or there in the years to come. For my bridesboy I purchased him a signature screw cuff bracelet from one of my favorite jewelry brands, Miansai.

Groomsmen gifts were custom engraved Justin Classic Ray Bans. If you didn’t know this was a thing, well, it is and it’s wonderful. They can engrave letters onto the internal or external part of the ear piece as well as onto the sunglasses case. I thought this was such a great gift, and I know the guys still wear them to this day.  

Makeup on, hair done, now, time for the dress

THE WEDDING DRESS

This section could have been a blog post on its own because I maybe tried on close to thirty dresses, if not more. I tried on dresses on the high-end scale (8k+) and ones in the more 1k range price point. I even jumped around to try on said dresses in three cities: Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Detroit. But this was also the beauty of a long engagement, between going home to LA for the holidays and traveling to SF for close friends’ weddings, I was able to plan ahead and carve out time to try on dresses while passing through.

The best piece of advice I can give you when looking for a dress; don’t say no to any style until you’ve tried it on. Wedding dresses are a different ballgame, and exploring options isn’t a bad thing, especially on your first appointment- any good boutique will understand that.  Sometimes it takes two, three, or in my case five boutiques and multiple appointments to nail down the dress, so take that into consideration when planning ahead along with alterations which can generally take up to 2-5 months, depending on work load and intricacy. Obviously, any place can rush it if needed, but you may end up paying pay double if not triple the cost.

Here are the CliffsNotes of my wedding dress experience:

What I thought I knew I wanted going in:

• I wanted drama of some sort, just wasn’t sure what that meant

• I wanted to try on long sleeves, was convinced this would look great on me

• No designer or specific dress in mind, just wanted to step into a few dresses to help narrow things down

• Budget - 3k-5k

 Fist Appointment: Mon Amie Bridal Salon, Costa Mesa,CA

• Liked Tulle, in doses

• Liked Mikado Silk

• Form fitting all around and halters, not my jam

• All lace dresses felt too dated, then considering my venue, everything would all feel a bit too ‘old’

• Hard NO on sleeves

• Sweetheart neckline looked better than expected

Second Appointment: Blush Bridal, Tustin, CA

• Loved the idea of two-piece interchangeable sets

• Hayley Paige dresses were growing on me

• Plunging necklines have been and still are my best friend

• Horsehair trim looks great with the tulle

Third Appointment: Bridal Couture, Birmingham, MI

• Love the idea of an over-skirt

• Fell in love with a Lazaro dress that I thought was the one, decided against it because I wasn’t sure how I felt about a ballgown

• Decided that day that I loved Mikado silk

• Tulle was no longer my vibe

• Also decided that spending over 3k wasn’t necessary

Fourth Appointment: Novella Bridal, San Francisco, CA

• Decided over-skirts actually wore me, I didn’t wear it

• Two-pieces are still fun, but I don’t think they fit the bill

• I don’t think ballgowns are for me, I NEED a train

• I love buttons that go all the way down, they feel classic

Fifth Appointment: Glamour Closet, San Francisco, CA

**Side Note: AMAZING spot if you want a designer dress that’s more affordable. This is where designer trunk show gowns go to die, so you buy everything as is, but at a very discounted price.

• Dead set on Mikado silk

• Fell in love with a plunging neckline Carolina Herrera , too expensive + too similar to a lot of things I wear

Please enjoy this slideshow off all the rejects (or at least the ones we photographed):

The dress I ended up choosing was a fit and flare silhouette, lace and sheer sweetheart neckline bodice, and a long Mikado silk train with silk buttons all down the back. Took me some time, but I figured it out, and ultimately because I had exhausted my options, I knew this was the one. I loved that the top was semi sheer to where you could see the boning and I just felt beautiful in it. I also came to understand that I wanted to feel sexy, so something that hugged me in certain areas was o-k, as long as it wasn’t a completely form fitting gown. I just don’t think I ever wanted to look like a princess, I wanted to look like that girl you left the princess for – she’s still classy, but a little sassy.

It took close to three months to receive my dress in the mail, and close to four months to alter it. My alterations girl worked her magic, and upon my request, added a thin silk belt last minute to help define the waistline, and we decided that a french bustle was the best option for my long train post ceremony. I had a total of four fittings, all of which I brought different close friends to, because even if they weren’t sharing in my actual wedding day, sharing that fun, special moment with them was still meaningful, and we’d end up making an afternoon out of it.

My husband’s suit was custom made by 1701 Bespoke right here in downtown Detroit. My husband always told me that his dad mentioned growing up that it was important to own a good fitting suit, and his wedding suit was perfection. The detail and customization options along with some of their bespoke accessories are superb, and he looked, for lack of better words - really damn good on our wedding day!

I loved picking out the lining as well as all the other fun details with my husband. I think the process is half the fun in getting a bespoke suit made, he even had our initials embroidered on the inside.

ACCESSORIES

Jewelry

My something old and blue was found on a whim while stopping in at an antique shop with my good friend while waiting for a table at brunch. 1920’s sapphire snap on ear crawlers that I had converted into pierced earrings.

I wore two bracelets, one my sister wore on her wedding day that she loaned to me, and my sweet husband gifted me a small silver bangle an hour before I walked down the aisle. We said no gifts, but this bracelet had words from the poem my mom was to read that day inscribed on the inside.

Shoes

Purchased my first pair of Louboutin’s, on ebay. Figured they were new to me but old to the seller, so that counts as two things, right? They were in pristine condition and I’m all about consignment, so hey, if the shoe fits!

Veil

Veils are EXPENSIVE, but I knew I wanted a cathedral length which can run up the bill quite quickly, so my alterations girl made one for me, for $40.00. Honestly, I think this is the one detail you can get away with not having to spend hundreds of dollars. Unless you’re Priyanka Chopra and looking to cover a small town in India in your veil, Etsy and various online shops can get you what you’re looking for for a fraction of the price.

Husband-to-Be Accessories

Shoes from To Boot New York

Tie from 1701 Bespoke

Watch is a Hamilton chronograph

Custom white button down, also from 1701 Bespoke

FIRST LOOK

I decided to rid the usual first look with my soon-to-be husband and opted to do it with my parents instead. Best decision I made, because not only was my mom not there when I ‘said yes to the dress’ but I thought a nice, quiet moment with my mom and dad before I walked down the aisle was so much more important. I’m their baby, who hasn’t lived at home since I was 18, has been living across country for over 5 years, and now I was getting married. I owed them that special moment because the rest of the day was about me and my soon-to-be husband anyway, and that first look was everything. It was also a great opportunity to get more photos with and of my parents.

HERE COMES THE BRIDE

All of our friends headed over to San Galgano Abbey around 3:30 and the cacophony of pre-wedding excitement had died down. I hugged my parents one last time before they took off in a car as I waited with my sister for our ride to the Abbey to arrive. It was silent, and I could hear my heartbeat as I took conscious breaths while looking in the mirror and doing last minute touch-ups to my hair and makeup. As we shuffled into the car, stuffed my dress, veil and bouquet in with me, I was less than ten minutes away to walking down that apse I teared up over the day before.

My dad was there to help me out of the car, dressed in his Barong Tagalog that at I made him wear, asking me if I was okay. My sister and the best man walked through the threshold of the Abbey and I went numb, I was next. I gave my dad my sweaty palm, held his hand so tight I’m sure he could feel every part of me attempting to hold it together, and then we too walked through that same threshold.

It was a long walk, but as I neared my fiancé I was met with rows of familiar, smiling faces, catching glimpses of tear-filled eyes, and never have I ever felt more love in one space – I was moved to tears. The resounding instrumentals of the violin and harp playing Canon in D as I inched closer to the altar was comforting, and when my dad handed me off to fiancé, and I felt his hand intertwine with mine, I felt at home.

The beauty of this ceremony was that it was in Italian then translated to us by our wedding planner. We added our own personal touches throughout the ceremony with our close friend welcoming everyone and saying a few words about us, and my mom reading a poem that my husband and I both love. The most heartfelt part was reading our vows that we had written for one another.

I was a wreck, so a good portion of those photos WON’T be making it into this blog, but you get the gist. We kept it short and sweet, and after signing our wedding papers and sharing our first kiss as husband and wife we turned around and hugged all of our friends and family while the song ‘married life’ from UP played on the violin and harp. It was the first movie we ever saw together and the first time my now husband, ever saw me cry, it was the perfect procession song.

SHOOT LIST

Custom vellum confetti bags from Etsy

So, we had a very abbreviated shoot list for our photographer and thankfully that was possible given we only had 18 guests. After thirty minutes of group shots and a biodegradable confetti toss, we shooed everyone away so they could begin to devour the large menu we had waiting for them, and drink to their hearts content.

So many beautiful shots were taken at the Abbey, and I couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful setting. We were so lucky to be working with such a talented photographer. So great, that there are one too many great photos that I can’t even begin to fit them all into this blog post.

RECEPTION

After photos at the abbey, we rolled up to the reception ready for the eating extravaganza we knew we were about to partake in, just wishing my dress had a bit more give. Nonetheless, everything was absolutely delicious. There was a table dedicated to cheese, meats and cold appetizers, then another table with more appetizers as well as a variety of beverages both alcoholic and non-alcoholic and then there were hot hors d’oeuvres that were being passed around by the wait staff, each time something different. Mini Pizzas, fried veggies, it was indulgent at best, and I was not complaining.

We were all slowly slipping into a food coma when we made our way to the dining table. Instead of a traditional toast, we decided to incorporate a Japanese tradition called the san san kudo which is traditionally done during the wedding ceremony, but we thought we’d keep the tradition, just fit it in as the toast before dinner. A good family friend gifted us the set from Japan as well as a beautiful silk sake bottle bag. The cups are in a stack of three, with the bride and groom each taking three sips from each cup, which depending on who you’re talking to can mean different things, but in our instance we ran with love, wisdom, and happiness. It was a beautiful tradition to fold in and I’m glad my mother mother-in-law was able to walk us through it.

TABLE SETTING + FLORALS

I can barely keep a succulent alive to save my life, and other than buying or receiving a beautiful bouquet, that’s basically the extent of my green thumb. I can appreciate a good arrangement and have done a few myself, but I knew I didn’t want to allocate too much money to florals because how do you compete with a 13th century abbey? You don’t. So I scaled back a lot and reused the same arrangements just in different ways to stretch a dollar. My good friend Claire did this at her wedding and I thought it was genius.

The aisle markers were used for the ceremony, then when picture time came, the bridesmaids used them in our group photos, then took them to the reception and added them to the memorial table. The little bouquets lived a few different lives in the span of four hours but it beat having to pay for different arrangements for every single thing!

I didn’t want tall centerpieces, just something that was low with a glow. White pillar candles and tea lights, with some greenery down the center. We also added in chandeliers overhead to give off some light and add to the ambiance once the sun went down.

Here are the mood boards and examples with notes that I sent our wedding planner:

Here ‘s what it looked like day of:

My Bouquet

Aisle Markers/Bridesmaid Bouquets/Reception Decor

Memorial Table : This was an incredibly important detail to us, especially considering my husband’s father had passed a few years prior. So, my husband chose his favorite photo of his father and I made sure to strategically rest my bouquet next to it as soon as we got back to the reception

Memorial Table at Night

Dining Table Centerpiece

Pillar candles throughout

I created custom menu cards printed on vellum that matched all the rest of my stationery and wedding collateral, all tied in a navy-blue velvet ribbon and some greenery. I was not going to splurge on linens, so by adding a few touches of color along with custom paper goods, it gave some character to an otherwise white table scape. And as a ‘place card’ holder I had custom 3D printed wine charms made with each guest’s name. Another easy, packable takeaway that adds another layer of detail.  

Because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to do these myself, for obvious reasons, I gave our planner a sketch to go along with the various items needed to execute my idea. I also gave her ahead of time our seating chart so she knew where to place said wine charms.

Here is what it looked like day of:

Menus designed by Rhino Designs + printed by Arbor Oakland Group

While Food Coma took over post apertif, here’s what really did us in:

• Sit-Down First Course
  - Champage + Truffle Risotto 
  - Ricotta Cheese and Nettle with Pachino Tomato and Cheese Sauce Ravioli 
  

• Sit-Down Second Course
  - Cinta Senese Pork Fillet with Lard and Brunello Di Montalcino Sauce 
  - Duck Supreme with Modena DOP Balsamic Vinegar 
  

• Sit Down Side Dish
  - Potato, Onion and Tomato Millefeuille 

As the sun began to set, Matteo pulled us aside to take advantage of the ‘golden hour’ where he produced some of my favorite shots. Between the sun setting and the glow of the candles and chandeliers, it was truly magical.

Speeches were done during dinner and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. My husband and I talk about them all the time, and I guess that’s the beauty of a small wedding, that quiet, intimate bubble that only few were able to experience, and it was the perfect way to end dinner.

DRINKS + DANCING

My husband was on the verge of canceling the DJ due to budget concerns, and I turned to him and did the whole, ‘you don’t know me at all!’ . Jamie Pecina does NOT NOT dance at weddings let alone her own. So, we kept the DJ, and to make a point, I was the first and last one on the dance floor. ha!

The dessert table was set up next to the dance floor, so we did the ceremonial feed each other cake bit, only I requested donuts, then we dug into the variety of other sweets!

• Dessert Buffet
  - Tiramisu 
  - Creme Caramel 
  - Orange scented chocolate and ricotta cheese squares 
  - Panna Cotta with Raspberry Topping 

We warmed up the dance floor swaying around for the first time as husband and wife to Jack Johnson’s Angel. Then we invited his mom and my dad next to partake in the father daughter and mother son dance.

I can not express how much I adore our friends and family. They all got on the dance floor, drinks in hand, and we danced the night away, while at times, I single-handedly held it down just to ensure my husband was in fact getting his money’s worth. As the DJ neared the end of his paid time bracket, they brought out plates and a party tray of penne arrabbiata, because what soaks up liquor better than carbs?

Once the night died down with both my hair and dress rolled into a knot, we made our way back to our suite. Tummies full of food, hearts filled with love and gratitude, and as husband and wife. Cheers to friends, family and two years of marriage!