WEDDING DAY DETAILS : PART I
Two years, it’s taken me two years to finally sit down and gush about our wedding – so, here goes. This was a hefty blog to write, but I wanted to touch base on various details that I tend to get the most questions on, and now that my whole wedding experience is a ‘been there, done that’ type of scenario, I wanted to shed light on things that a soon to be bride might want to consider while you’re in the midst of planning.
I’ve broken this blog up into two segments: Logistics + Day of Details. There are so many intricacies with planning something abroad that I thought it was important to highlight helpful tips and resources THEN tomorrow, give you a wedding play by play alongside some fun commentary.
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KEY ITEMS
Unless you’re rolling in dough, there’s this thing called a budget. And after getting engaged, my fiancé and I had to set a said budget. Obviously, this fluctuates as you begin to plan, and unfortunately in our case, everything seemed to fluctuate up, versus down, BUT in doing so I established what my top three must have’s would be and why. This helped us allocate and justify where majority of our budget would be spent, and why we’d be skimping on other, not so important details down the road.
My three Key Items in order + Why:
PHOTOTGRAPHY
You could spend all the money in the world for the nicest dress, glam squad, etc. But bad photos are bad photos and you can’t go back and redo that day. So, for me, it was so important to find someone who’s photos made me feel something. I wanted someone who had a more editorial eye, who captured raw emotion, and who’s photos didn’t feel staged. I wanted everything to feel organic, not fussy, and moodier than the usual light and bright images that are often associated with weddings. Our wedding planner gave us the information of Matteo Innocenti and he not only fit the bill but exceeded our every expectation. I’ve written a full and thorough review of Matteo + his team HERE.
2. FOOD
Not all wedding food is created equal, that I completely understand, BUT I also don’t want to leave a wedding hungry. I made it a point to make sure I not only chose the biggest menu, but the one with the most variety. Lucky for us, our friends + family are GOOD eaters, so there were little to no dietary restrictions we had to work around.
3. VENUE
We knew early on that a church wedding wasn’t in our cards. My fiancé isn’t Catholic, I’m lightly Catholic but more spiritual these days, and church’s in Italy, while beautiful, are extremely opulent- just isn’t our vibe. So I was willing to spend the extra money to find a venue that still had beautiful architecture, but without the fussiness, and I knew that would come with a price.
J-LO or NO?
Wedding planners are a godsend in my opinion. Whether you’re needing a planner throughout the whole process or just looking for a ‘day of’ coordinator, it was the best ‘wedding budget’ money we ever spent, ESPECIALLY if you’re looking to have a destination wedding.
How to choose one is quite simple, check out their website. While everyone is quick to check out photos on Instagram, I like to believe if you’re providing me a service that is a bit more involved and that needs some explanation that sometimes Instagram can’t provide, then you need a good website. I can’t tell you how many people I glazed over just based on their homepage. I believe when you’re dealing with aesthetics a site that has clear and concise information, ease of contact, and easily accessible reviews should be at the forefront. It’s their portfolio, their first impression, and because I was planning this miles away, I wanted to feel at ease knowing that my wedding planner was not only organized BUT understood my vision and could execute it accordingly.
Upon some failed attempts, I came across Super Tuscan Wedding Planners. Their website was beautiful, their Instagram was well curated, they had amazing reviews, and from the moment I reached out via email, they scheduled a skype call, and before we knew it they were hired and we were discussing our hopes and dreams for our wedding day. I’ve also given them a full review HERE.
While having a planner of any sort is to your discretion, I don’t recommend planning a wedding abroad without one, and if you do end up using a ‘day of’ coordinator know that it’ll be a huge help in putting out any wedding day fires.
LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
When I was young I saw this movie starring Diane Lane called, ‘Under the Tuscan Sun’. While watching it at 13, it seemed far fetched, but it began to resonate with me as I got older. A woman stuck between a rock and a hard place in search of herself, and through happenstance she winds up in Tuscany, Italy where through a series of events ends up finding everything she ever hoped for in her life. It was beautiful, poetic, and I loved the spontaneity of it all. So, it’s safe to say I’ve known for a long time that when I got married, it would be in Tuscany, Italy. Also, feasting on endless carbs and wine sounded like my kind of getaway.
Choosing a ceremony venue for a wedding is such a crucial part of the planning process. It gives you your wedding date, inspiration for the look and feel of your dress, dictates other ceremony and reception details as well as sets the tone for the day. Because once that was booked, it quickly becomes a domino effect in regards to logistics + accommodations.
We couldn’t make any decisions on anything until we knew where we were having our wedding ceremony, and while scrolling through Pinterest at 2am, and searching ‘architecture in Italy’ I went deep into the rabbit hole and came across an intriguing image. Upon further investigation, the stars aligned and it just so happened to be in Tuscany AND they were a wedding ceremony venue! My search was over and so I informed our wedding planners that I wanted to book it ASAP, and the rest is history.
I’ve been to various weddings where the ceremony space was steps away from the reception which helps alleviate commute + creates an easier transition between the two. In our case, our ceremony was in one location and our rented villa hosted our reception. The upside to this was once the day was all said and done, no one had to drive home, we could just eat, drink, then pass out in our room’s steps away.
SAVE THE DATES
Now that your date it set, it’s time to create your guest list, scream ‘I’m Engaged!’ from the rooftops like Monica on friends, and get your wedding assets together.
WHO TO INVITE
Our wedding had a total of 20 attendees, two of those attendees being myself and my fiancé. There was something nice about our whole wedding feeling like less of a production, and more of like an intimate gathering. We wanted the production value to be more so in the scenery, the architecture and the ambiance. Because we live in Michigan and everyone in attendance is on the West Coast, we wanted to actually have conversations with our guests, spend time with all of our closest friends and family, and not feel like we needed to impress anyone. It’s as if hanging out with our friends and family in another country was at the forefront of it all, and the wedding was just an excuse to show up, dress up, drink up, and stuff our faces with carbs.
It’s hard condensing a wedding guest list down to 20 people. I went back and forth about having a large wedding, but when that list was made, it was close to 150 people, which meant a wedding more than likely in California. I’m sure that would’ve been just as fun and just as amazing, but our logic was, this was about US. What do we REALLY want, HOW do we want to spend our money, what’s important to us? And it came down to really wanting to travel and use the money to see the world, and a good portion of our wedding budget was allocated to travel expenses.
So, while we opted for something small and intimate, it allowed us to allocate more money to my Top Three Key Items AND get a two-week vacation with family and friends. Whereas something larger would have forced us to be a bit more frugal or even worse, overspend on one single day. It’s all checks and balances, and we’re not ballers by any means, so budget dictated our guest list.
WEDDING ASSETS
Engagement Shoot:
This Is a great way to test out your day of photographer, let alone have some great photos to use for any wedding collateral like your website, save-the-dates, social media, etc. and usually photographers offer bundle pricing if you use them for engagement photos and for the wedding day.
This is something we did not do solely because our wedding day photographer was Italy based, we didn’t see the need for an extra set of photos, and ultimately, it was just another added cost that we didn’t see the value in, but to each their own.
Logo:
One of the perks of being in the creative field is having friends who are graphic designers. I knew I wanted a logo of some sort to use on giveaways or just to have to commemorate the day, and thought it would be a nice custom touch. I collaborated with one of my best friends and bridesmaids and came up with this fun logo. We decided to turn them into stitched patches and ironed them onto welcome bags.
I love the stamp that has all the major cities we’ve lived in together
Our Save-the-Dates:
This is where we went a little extra. I love curated gift boxes, it feeds my inner child who indulged in Sanrio surprise bags and because our invite list was so small and majority lived together, I created Save-the-Date boxes. The box included:
Envelope with a letter + Step by Step directions on how to download our App
A Handmade Save-the-Date wine cork magnet
A custom limoncello basil + café Italiano lollipop
Luggage Tags for the invitees
Everything was nestled within a box filled with Excelsior wood wool + shipped out a year in advance. We did give everyone we were inviting a verbal heads up 6 months prior, just to plant the seed until we figured out concrete details.
My husband worked on these custom magnets + did such a great job!
Custom Lollipops are from Leccare Lollipops
The App:
I think having a website is necessary for a wedding, especially a destination wedding. Between ever changing details, and traveling, having something easily accessible is needed. In our case it was two weeks’ worth of information and logistics, and it was daunting. I knew I didn’t want to use the knot because I’ve never been a fan of their website interface, let alone how it translated onto a phone, and I didn’t like that you couldn’t make it private.
My friend told me about Appy Couple. You pay a onetime fee for either their Boutique or Luxury package (we did the Boutique, $49) it’s password protected, and it worked seamlessly with uploading information as we went along in the planning process. It was easy for us to customize and it was easily accessible to our guests on the go. It was fifty dollars well spent, and you get to keep the account forever so if we want to erase our wedding information and start from scratch for another event, we can.
The beauty of the Save-the-Date box was that we pre-printed each guest’s information onto their luggage tag and it’s that information they had to plug in, along with our password to get into the app. It made the invite feel exclusive and it was fun seeing everyone using their tags when we met up in Italy.
PRE-CELEBRATIONS + MISC.
REGISTRY
We skipped on this altogether. We just wanted our friends to use their money for flights and travel or as we put it, ‘your presence is our present’. In the grand scheme of it all we have our own home, filled everything we’ll ever need, so anything we would have registered for was more of a want, so it just didn’t make sense for us to register.
If friends and family insisted on getting us something, we sent them a link to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and requested donations on behalf of my husband’s late father who passed a few years ago. Whenever we received cards from the foundation informing us that someone had donated in honor of him, it was worth so much more than anything we could’ve ever registered for.
ENGAGEMENT PARTY
We opted out of an engagement party solely because it felt like a bit much considering our good friends either reached out to do dinner, texted and facetimed to congratulate us, and we even had a friend surprise us with a cake and gifts while attending a party for her! All around, I think just relishing in all the love and happy wishes sent our way was more than enough for us. Everything after that was just a bonus!
BRIDAL SHOWER
I also decided against a bridal shower. The way I saw it was any close woman in my life would have already asked me to drinks and dinner or have come over to congratulate us. So again, I didn’t need a production to celebrate with the women in my life, let alone have anyone go out of their way to gift me anything.
BACHELOR + BACHELORETTE PARTIES
Before you roll your eyes and think I’m anti-party, you’re absolutely wrong. I love me a good time, just a little less buttoned up with a side of shots and double stick tape. My husband on the other hand, while a super low key introverted guy, thankfully has friends who are quite the contrary, in every good way possible. And naturally, we both ended up in Vegas.
He took a weekend in July, while I opted for Labor Day weekend in late August. While I can’t talk to all the planning since his was planned by his best man, and mine by my sister, the maid of honor, what I can say is, we both had a blast.
Custom Bachelorette Party Logos screen printed on drawstring backpacks and shirts!
My sister booked out a suite at the Delano, two bedrooms adjoined by a living space complete with a small bar and decorated in all the Bachelorette necessities. Tinsel curtains hung as a backdrop to iridescent pink blow up balloon letters that spelled out the weekends theme, ‘Bach Shit Cray’.
Britney Spears posters my sister scoured ebay for were taped up all over the space as a homage to my childhood hero while her music blared throughout the suite upon entering – ah Brit Brit. Matching shirts and drawstrings backpacks were laid out on the coffee table imprinted with the custom logo one of my bridesmaids created. The desk area turned giveaway table, was covered in sperm confetti topped with ‘Oh Shit Kits’, and custom cups with matching penis straws. An unforgettable bachelorette pad, filled with a weekend of memories.
If there was anything I had a hand in, it was creating themes for every night we were there. Night one was lace and leather as an homage to one of Britney’s lesser known songs, night two was glitter and gold, and night three was hoops and hoes – white pants and largest hoops you owned or could find (this might be an urban dictionary search for some of you).
Between the brunches, nights out, Magic Mike show, laying in bed and just talking, it was the perfect mix of fun, good food, and playing catch up. Pays to have a sister and friends who are a little extra haha!
TAKEAWAYS:
Time is Money
Our engagement was close to two years, and for us, it worked in our favor. Not only could friends and family plan their trip to Italy accordingly, but it gave us some time to really save up and not go into too much debt for our two-week getaway/wedding. Also, after about a year people forgot we were engaged and stopped asking and it was kind of nice to slide under the radar the year leading up to it. So I guess, if you’re anything like us, that was a total win.
It’s ALL ABOUT YOU
The most stressful part about planning aside from money is decision making. Do what feels right to you and your fiance. If you don’t want a large wedding, DON’T have a large wedding. If you aren’t loving something, speak up! Stick to your guns, do what makes THE BOTH of you happy. Weddings aren’t a one size fits all, so don’t let opinions of other dictate what you want to do, you’ll be happier in the long run - be selfish!
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Trust me, every small detail you lose sleep over will more than likely will get glazed over the day of. So allocate more time and energy to the big things, because chances are your uncle isn’t going to remember what your giveaways were, but he will remember if he went home hungry. (if you can’t already tell, food was a big one for us! haha)
Remember the Big Picture
Turning into a Bridezilla is so unnecessary, because a wedding isn’t about the party, decor, or details, it’s about the vows. It’s the celebration of your relationship and truly, that’s the end goal here. Keeping this in mind when planning was helpful. I’d have to tell myself, ‘Don’t stress about it, we’re so lucky to be able to even do this, let alone in Italy, it’ll all work out’ And truth be told, whatever it may be always has a way of resolving itself and working out - promise!
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Now that logistics, planning and pre-celebrations are out of the way, tomorrow I’ll be reliving and doing a deep dive on our unforgettable wedding day.
